A Mom Update

mom and ethan outside bw

I didn’t want this blog to be all about being a mom, but of course little bits of Junior leak into every few posts. So I wanted to give everyone an update on how I’m doing on the “mom front”.  Junior, is 4 months old, he is rolling over and flailing his chubby arms and legs around trying to motor around.  He is huge, but not fat, as he still sits in the higher percentile for weight and height. Being formula fed is great so that Hubby can be involved and I know Junior is getting the nutrients he needs (not sure if I posted earlier, but I tried to breastfeed, but in the end, it just never works…or should I say the “girls” never worked).

He isn’t really a fussy baby and rarely lets out much of a screech when upset.  He gets along with the dogs, well, I guess the dogs tolerate him and seem to be very gentle in his presence.  Junior is also starting to sleep through the nights (thank the lord!!),  and has regular napping periods, which mean I can finally expect time to myself each day to get caught up on bottle washing, laundry, or bathroom cleaning.   I’ve tried cloth diapers a few times and have become very frustrated with the outcome, which is a very wet and unhappy baby.  I’ve talked with a lot of other moms in the area and they seem to say the same thing, soaking through is natural.  But really?  So, I’m saving the environment but I’m going to use twice as much water doing laundry?  Not only am I cleaning his cloth diapers, but I have to clean every soaked onesie as well, which would be up to 7 a day if we kept him on them.  I’m not sold on cloth yet. Props to the moms who can do it, but I don’t want a soggy baby.

As Junior outgrows his adorable selection of clothing, I’ve been saving our favorite onesies and sleepers to make into a memory blanket.  Even with us pulling our favorites out, we still have a tremendous pile of outfits to pass down to another mom in need.  (I found out my friend from high school who lives nearby is expecting again).  I’m planning on making the blanket for his one year birthday and I’m sure there will be a blog post about it.

Our days are “scheduled” for the most part.  I get up with Junior at approx. 6am, change him and bring him to bed to play with Daddy for a bit. Junior loves sitting on Daddy’s chest, his feet being tickled by his beard.  Junior will chatter away telling “stories” to Hubby for a good 30 minutes before falling asleep between us.  He will sleep for over an hour, allowing me to shower and clean up the room.  Between 10am and about 4pm, it’s a dance of baby vs house work.  I work where Junior is content, and if Junior isn’t content, I move on to another place, toting a happy baby around to look into mirrors, roll around on quilts in the grass, or bounce on my knee as I blog.  At 6pm Junior starts getting fussy and with a giant bottle, a few bum pats and a kiss goodnight, I can usually get him to sleep for a few hours.  It might seem that I’m very eager to get Junior to sleep and you would be correct.  There is a never ending amount of work to be done, and although bouncing my baby and staring into his endless blue eyes all day would be great, I relish the moment I can escape to pull weeds from the garden, or wipe the layer of dust off my coffee table. (Even as I type this, Junior is napping in his bouncy chair next to me, my foot is getting cramped from pushing it, his head is bobbing up and down, and he emits a soft “hmm” with each gentle bounce).

Being a mom is great.  Is it what I expected?  No.  I thought I’d be super mom.  The house would be spotless, the gardens would be done and I would shed the baby weight with my daily morning walks (as you might expect, none of this happened).

But I do pride myself on the small steps.  I’ve learned how to bake bread, the house is not a “mess”, I’ve made some great meals and have learned to garden with one ear listening for cries from the window above.  I’ve met the neighbours and have planned outings with friends and family.  My son is great and awesome and happy.

In the place of actually getting much done around the house, I plan… I dream.  This can all be done at the same time as bouncing Junior.  I dream about gardens, future play structures, fun family outings and different flavours of bread to bake.  I think about visiting family, hosting Christmas dinners and planning for Juniors first birthday party.  Having dreams and planning things is how I get up each day, it’s all about having ambition…I’m glad we don’t have cable here, otherwise, I think I would quickly find myself plunked in front of the tv each day. Now, I have to get up and figure out what I can do… what room in the house will Junior be happy in and what can I do in there.  There will be an endless amount of work to be done, and projects to be finished and bread to be baked, but the only one who is judging me… is me…. Well, wait, and maybe Junior… and Hubby, oh and probably my mother in law… sigh… okay… it’s a good thing I’m not a couch potato.

One part of my new life where I see that I have slipped, is on my relationship with Hubby.  And I know it takes two to tango, but after Junior was born, I didn’t feel very good about myself, and with a crying baby at 2am, Hubby wasn’t getting enough sleep.  Even now, our world circles around Junior and his endless cycles of feedings, changing and bouncing. And not to mention the house, which eats up so much of our energy as lawns need to be mowed, walls need to be painted and gardens need to be weeded.  Hubby and I need to start setting time aside for the two of us.  Perhaps with Junior sleeping in the evening, we can escape for a glass of wine by the bonfire, just Hubby and myself. We wouldn’t trade what we have for anything, and each day we both wake up thankful for our dream home and our sweet baby boy, but we seriously need to schedule a date night!

I think a fear of new dads is that the wives will give the newborn all the attention, as it certainly seems an endless and exhausting task caring for a baby, but every time I look at Junior, I see my Hubby.  Every time Junior smiles, or gurgles or babbles, I want to call Hubby over to see. I love the way Hubby plays with Junior, feeds him and is ever the doting dad.  I could never be the mom I am without my Hubby to help me. Junior is a perfect combination of both of us, and even though our baby takes up so much time and energy, he is a constant reminder of my wonderful marriage to Hubby.

ps. Yes that is a picture of Junior and I, taken on a sunny day while we played on a quilt on the front lawn.  You won’t see too many pictures of actual people on this blog, but it’s a sweet picture, and Junior said it was okay to post. 

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