Why one? One is the loneliest number. Two is better. Three is even more awesome. Awesome for who? Two could be good, but we’re okay with one. Yup. I’m talking about babies. The second I squeezed little Junior out of me we were bombarded by the usual groan-inducing question, “So are you having more?”. I always thought two was a good number, but then again, my sister and I were never close, and still to this day only get together at family functions. Same with Hubby, he has two sisters, and he rarely “hangs out” with them other than the obligatory dinners and events. I don’t dislike the idea of siblings, but I don’t believe a child needs them to become well-rounded. Parents might have to work a little harder to socialize their child, as the idea of sharing anything will become very foreign very quickly, but does one child, need another child, to become a great adult?
Hubby and I want to provide a good steady and strong life for Junior. We want to afford to give him what he needs and teach him to work for what he wants. We will instill great work ethic through chores, and fun with family adventures and vacations. We want to give Junior our 100%. It’s hard already in life. I can’t say I give Hubby my 100% and nor can he to me. Our dogs have felt the neglect of a busy life and schedule and the last vacation we took alone was our belated honeymoon due to finances. Times have changed. Back in “the old days” having kids was just a thing you did. Birth control wasn’t really an option and truth be told the extra hands on the farm were good to have and outweighed feeding the little buggers. But as times change, women have careers, shift work becomes almost a norm, everyone seems to be in debt (I hope we’re not the only ones), and everything costs money. Oh, Junior, you want to play hockey? Hmm, well, mommy and daddy can’t afford the $1000 to get you set up for that. Children are now constantly fundraising in schools, bringing home an assortment of chocolate covered nuts or magazines filled with Christmas nic naks to make the school extra money. Playing soccer doesn’t just mean one night after school in the back field, it’s driving to tournaments three times a week and buying new uniforms and expensive cleats. If Junior wants to learn how to be a ballerina, it means dance lessons, and expensive leotards (we’re open minded parents).
There even seems to be more expenses these days… cost of living…. Umm… we only just bought a second car, we only have one tv, we don’t vacation….ever, and I can’t remember the last time I had my hair done, and my nails painted, but we’re on a strict budget. One has to make over a hundred thousand just to keep up to the “cost of living”.
Oh and don’t get me started on just how busy life is. We find it hard to find time to visit family and friends, walk the dogs, and run errands. Run Run Run. Rush Rush Rush. Hubby and I hardly have alone time other than sitting in front of the tv when he gets home late at night.
Lately more of our friends are having babies, and then having more. And to each their own. I’ll happily bounce their babies and arrange play dates, but having more children isn’t on our priority list. And don’t get me wrong, don’t label me as a parent snob. It’s because we don’t think we can spread ourselves any thinner, we don’t think it’s fair to Junior to have more kids just for the sake of having more. We watch other parents of multiple children and worship the ground they walk on for having the patience to handle it. But Hubby and I are not so sure we’re that strong. And we’re okay with not stressing out about it.
And yes, we have thought about having more, the maternal draw to crying babies and the instinct to procreate pulls hard at my uterus at times. We’ve had the conversations…. The “should we?”, the “will he be lonely?” and the “more is merrier?” conversations. But we both come to the conclusion. We love our family. We have two insanely stupid and high maintenance dogs, and we have one amazingly fantastic son. We have finally found a great balance in our own relationship (although we could benefit from a few more dates), and we can make it now, pay check to pay check, without needing loan sharks.
But there is no easy way to tell the grandparents of Junior that Junior, might be it. He’s it… the one, the only (at least from us). There is no polite way to stifle the questions, the pressure and the guilt. We take it in stride. We’ll keep smiling. But for now, we’re just practising having more kids. And we’re okay with that, cause we can hardly find time for that!