The Reasons Behind My Stress

Well, as a famous Disney character once said, “If you don’t got nuthin good to say, don’t say nuthin at all”. Which is why I haven’t blogged much lately. 2015 is kicking my butt!  I’m sick again, a horrendous head cold which is keeping me from sleeping since I’m afraid I’ll choke on my own mucous. Oh, and you want to know about the interview? Well, I waited a few days (obviously the 48 hour mark came and went that they promised) and I sent a very polite thank you email to them. I immediately received a response that they apologized for not keeping to the 48 hours, they had some interviews that had to be rescheduled and promised to get back the applicants as soon as possible. Another 4 days goes by, still nothing. Out of the blue, and after I had ridden my emotional roller coaster to the end and gave up all hope, I receive another email, “Hang in there, thanks for your patience, you’re still one of our top contenders”. It’s now been almost another week. Last night I emailed them asking if the position had been filled, and I have yet to hear anything. What an exhausting few weeks. Now…to perhaps further explain my sudden stress levels and urgency to get back into the job force. Hubby and I, over Christmas became liars. Yup. Liars. We lied… We aren’t so sure about having one child anymore. We both have had the urge to expand our family and since the clock is ticking… we said… now or never. On January first we stopped using birth control.

Yup we’ve been adamant believers in having one child. One was right for us. One was okay to have. One is cheaper. And I seriously don’t know what happened, we still think all that. We are happy with one, but I think there is that nagging feeling. Is two better for Junior? I’ve gone through nearly a month and a half emotional rollercoaster of asking myself if we were making the right decision. Hubby works late nights and most of the weekend, will he be home to help? We don’t have enough income to support us all. What will we do? Well, for one, I have to consider getting back to work. I’m currently on maternity leave and once that’s up in a few weeks, I have no money coming in and I can’t apply for normal assistance. I need to return to work and work for several months before I will be eligible for maternity leave again. So that was my goal, get back to work and so when the time comes, at least we will have some income from my side of things. But I found this job, here in town, just 7 minutes away, and I fell in love with it. I want to work there. I want to work there forever. It’s perfect. But then I haven’t heard back and it’s killing me.

And…because that’s not enough stress….Our dogs were playing the other day and my dog stretched her hind leg funny. She can’t go up and down stairs, can’t jump on the furniture (which should be a good thing, but makes me sad to see her stare at the couch and all its glorious pillows and not be able to curl up in them). We’re taking her to the vet tonight (money we don’t have), and we hope it’s just a sprain, and not something serious like hips or a slipped disc.

Sigh… will it get better?

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