What does a mom do on a long weekend? The same thing she does every other day of the week. What does this mom do on Valentine’s Day? Not much. As usual, Hubby had to work on Valentine’s Day. I’m not usually the lovey dovey gal, and I usually loathe flowers, teddy bears and chocolate, but with feeling a bit in the dumps I was hoping for a little pick me up, maybe a little romance, perhaps even breakfast in bed. But it was not to happen. I wore sexy clothes I found in the back of my sock drawer, I had a card from me and one card from Junior to Hubby, and I bought Hubby some Hulk foam hands since one of our dogs decided to destroy his last pair. Yes, Hulk hands… foam green fake giant fists for a grown man. But it’s what he likes, and that’s what he got. They only cost $10, the cards, a few dollars each. Nothing crazy, and I am not one to expect much in return. It’s my own fault for marrying a “manly” man. I guess I just feel like the past month or so I’ve been waving a little white flag hoping that someone will come in and save me from my rural momland.
Well, since I knew Hubby had to work and I suspected that we wouldn’t have plans for the morning before he had to go to work, I invited my sister out for the day. She doesn’t currently have a significant other, so I’m sure her Valentine’s was just as uneventful as mine. She came out early and we pondered on a course of action as the roads were slick and we were both trying to be mindful of a budget. We finally settled on visiting a cheese factory about an hour away as a destination and off we went together, braving the cold snowy day, to select cheese curds and fresh cheese blocks, Junior in tow.
We travelled south to a big lock system, which was closed for viewers, and then picked up delicious pizza on the way back to my house. So in all, it wasn’t a horrible Valentine’s Day. Nothing a good pizza and bag of cheese curds couldn’t fix (although now I need to work it all off!).
So I’ve come to the conclusion that no one but me can get me out of this funk. I’ve been trying to organize my emotions and figure out what can be done. Here is what I have so far:
- I didn’t get that job, which I totally got my hopes up for. But why does it bother me? Because in less than two weeks, I will be cut off from employment insurance and I will have no money except baby bonuses coming in, this hardly covers groceries!
Plan: Focus on my wedding decoration business. I’ve got my website up, I’m pre-making stock, and I’ve been advertising more. Sales are slowly coming in, but with a source of revenue, I will feel more secure, and be able to contribute financially. But wedding season doesn’t start for another month or so, next month will be tough.
- I feel quite alone, but yet I feel too exhausted to organize coffee dates and visits.
Plan: I need fresh air!! Today for the first time in what seems like forever, the cold snap has yielded and we had only negative 10 weather. For us Canadians this is a godsend. I plan to once a week go for a walk at a local trail and invite locals to join me. I also need to attend playgroup with Junior on more of a regular basis, let’s say twice a week.
- I feel fat. Wait, let me change that…I AM fat. I know… I know… I shouldn’t be that hard on myself, but I should know better. I gained weight before getting pregnant with Junior and I gained weight during the pregnancy and I can’t blame it on the fact that I married a chef (if you only knew… he hardly cooks at home).
Plan: Start eating those weird things called fruits and vegetables, and quit drinking (not that I drink a lot, but it’s empty calories).
- I schlump around the house chasing Junior, picking up socks and absentmindedly folding the odd load of laundry. I need direction, something to look forward to.
Plan: Junior will be turning 1 soon. I smell a party that needs planning!